The saddest thing may be, if there is such a thing, when someone is so afraid they can't make it without you that they abandon you just to prove they can when in reality, without fear, being with you is where they belong because it inspires them to do their best.
Insecurity may be the saddest thing.
Thursday, September 28, 2017
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Monday, August 31, 2015
Saturday, December 29, 2012
you've been gone from your writings for a long time... but that doesn't stop me from jumping up and down if only to make a big silly splash that hopefully says i still love you, caring is a verb, so here is a literary action to demonstrate that... i am concerned that you may sleep restlessly, which concerns me, which compels me not to wait forever to nudge you (or splash words in your face, so to speak), cuz you did write once and i believe you were not done... so i encourage continuing... and may considering why i am here be of value . . . the core of my consistency (and security and confidence and solidness and faith and honesty and whatever else we might call it), from my perspective, is an internal trust in my intentions... even more than trusting my instincts, i know and have always known that my intentions are pure, true, goodness, and in those three words - honesty without harm... my intention is to be true and harmless... not succeeding all the time, i could feel like a failure and berate myself and give up and lose faith and drift away from that bottom line and then, lose the sense of self "me"... i could accept the indecision and helplessness of being imperfect as a reason to stop caring and doubt my intentions (am i lying to myself when i tell myself i mean no harm?)... but i choose to empower hope and self-trust over fear and doubt... choosing to unconditionally trust my intention to be true and harmless is me... and so, i am here... sleep well and when you wake, i will be here - in these words even after the body is gone, and until the body is gone, more words will flow to prove i am here... and you are here too, as much as you will allow yourself to be...
all you have to do is choose to believe it :)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
ah, the changes are challenging sometimes... i guess cleaning up the place will help, but time for that will keep me from returning to a social life... i am so disconnected from people and also from so many things i love to do... having a friend as a roommate makes it easy to get in a stay home habit... and now, so much stuff to clean up all by myself, a double lonely whammy...
still i feel good about helping a friend... i feel useful and worthwhile and that is the best solitary happiness i know...
Friday, July 22, 2011
don't dis the connections, aye?